


Two Types of Electricity

by orphan_account



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: First Kiss, Gen, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:43:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1443943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the power goes out, Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa play a stupid game. Perry suffers the consequence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Types of Electricity

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt result for "game." I regret writing this.

A deafening clap of thunder rattled the walls of the apartment building. The ceiling shuttered, and the lights flickered weakly, sending shadows scurrying eerily over the walls.

Vanessa drew up her shoulders in a defensive shrug, her leather jacket bunching around her arms and squeaking. Tentatively, she reached up to tug one plug out of her ear, and the pounding music stopped. She listened.

A zigzagging streak of lightning split the evening sky, tearing through the green clouds and washing the room in blinding blue. The thunder boomed overhead, shaking the room again.

 _Oh, great. As if today could get any more super._ Vanessa sighed and poked the plug back into her ear. She twisted the knob on the radio, turning the music louder.

Just as the song ended and the tape whirred, the lights buzzed and snapped off with a _pop_. Everything turned gray.

 _Yeah. It got more super._ With a stifled groan, Vanessa flopped back onto her bed, her arms by her sides. She stared up at the black ceiling. _How am I ever going to get through today without my music and my computer?_

"Vanessa, honey? Are you okay?"

Something bumped and thumped through the kitchen, and grunted when a pan crashed to the floor. Doofenshmirtz groped his way through the dark, all the while slamming pantry doors. At last he gave an exclamation of triumph. A faint beam of light cut through the blackness.

"I found the flashlight, Vanessa."

"Good job, Dad," she called. She rolled her eyes briefly before shutting them. Her ears tingled from the quiet.

Doofenshmirtz slowly made his way into Vanessa's room, playing the yellow circle of light over her bed. She squinted at him, raising her hand to shield her face from the glare.

"That thing's kind of blinding me, Dad."

"Oh." Sheepishly he directed the beam at the wall. Long shadows dripped down. "Sorry."

Vanessa reluctantly scooted to the top of the bed, giving her father enough room to sit. He did so happily, shaking the mattress as he carefully perched on the edge. Vanessa, wishing to seem occupied, wrapped her arms around a pillow and hugged it.

Doofenshmirtz glanced at her awkwardly. "So... what, uh... what were you doing when the power went out?"

"Nothing. Just listening to music. It's not like I was doing homework."

"Why not?"

"It's summer, Dad." Vanessa raised an eyebrow. "I don't know how _you_ did it, but nowadays kids don't go to school during summer."

"Oh," he said again. He looked at the wall and swallowed. "I knew that, of course."

Vanessa tried to think of something to say in reply, but once she did it was too late for the answer to make sense. She uneasily plucked at a loose thread on the pillowcase. Her fingernails clicked together.

"Hey," Doofenshmirtz said abruptly. Holding the flashlight to the side, he turned to Vanessa. "Do you want to play a game? Kids... uh, they still like games, right?"

Vanessa leaned against the headboard of the bed, trying not to appear as bored as she felt. "Sure, Dad."

"Um..." Hurt by Vanessa's lack of enthusiasm, Doofenshmirtz rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Well, it's not like we have anything _else_ to do. We might as well do _something_ to pass the time until Charlene comes to pick you up."

"Yeah, I guess." Vanessa started to sigh, but the hopeful glow in her father's eyes stopped her. Reluctantly, she said, "What kind of game?"

Doofenshmirtz smiled happily. "Any one you like. As long as it doesn't involve running, or using power tools, or anything else particularly dangerous. Kids these days seem to be quite _into_ games like that. When _I_ was growing up––"

 _Oh, no._ Vanessa felt certain she could not tolerate a detailed story of her father's childhood. Panic gathered behind her tongue, pushing out of her mouth the first thing that she thought of:

"Truth-or-Dare."

"Hmm?"

"Truth-or-Dare," Vanessa said slowly, wishing desperately that she had considered a different form of amusement. "It's this game some kids play at slumber parties or whatever."

"I'm _lis_ tening..."

"Well..." Vanessa wondered how to explain about a game she had no interest in playing. "You just take turns asking each other to tell the truth about something. If you don't want to, you have to take a dare instead. It's really stupid and stuff," she said upon seeing Doofenshmirtz's pensive frown.

"No," he said. "If my daughter wants to play, then I'll play. You go first and show me how."

 _Why? Why did I get into this?_ Downcast, Vanessa relented. She crossed her legs and held the pillow closer. Doofenshmirtz swung his legs onto the bed, making the springs bounce, and stretched comfortably.

"All right," Vanessa said dully. "Choose to tell the truth or pick a dare."

"Is lying an option?"

"No."

"Do I _have_ to tell the truth?"

"That's why it's called _truth._ "

"What happens if I don't tell the truth?" Doofenshmirtz said, worriedly sucking in his breath to leave hollows in his cheeks.

"Geez, Dad. If you don't want to tell the truth, you can take a dare."

"Okay," Doofenshmirtz said, but looked hardly reassured. "Um... I pick... to tell the truth."

Vanessa wondered what her mother would say if she saw this. "Truth. Truth... Oh. You built something evil today, didn't you? Yes or no?"

Rather than blanch, as Vanessa expected, Doofenshmirtz raised his chin and grinned proudly. "Yes, yes, I did, and it was a Shrinkinator, for _your_ information. Hey, this game is easy."

"Yep. Real easy." Vanessa rested her jaw against her fist, balancing her elbow on her knee. Vaguely she said, "Your turn."

"This is fun." Doofenshmirtz rubbed his palms together in a pretense of anticipation. "Vanessa, you will tell me the _truth,_ and only the truth. Do you have a little _boy_ in your life? A _hand_ some young man that you've fallen head over heels for? Are you planning on getting married? How many children do you––"

"Dad!" Vanessa snatched the pillow and flung her weight into swatting Doofenshmirtz. "This is a game, not another method of butting into my life."

"Okay, okay, I _get_ it." Doofenshmirtz raised his hands to block the pillow. Vanessa sulkily wrapped her arms around it. "No more meddling. Geez, this is only a _game,_ Vanessa; lighten up."

"Just for that, you're going to catch it," Vanessa said. Still abashed, she raked her mind for an equally personal question to ask her father. She thought of the one question he wouldn't answer.

"Will you tell the truth or choose a dare?" she said, praying he would decide to truthfully answer her.

"Truth," Doofenshmirtz said promptly.

"Tell me what made you stop getting along with Mom."

At this, Doofenshmirtz's eyes widened, then narrowed. The mirth faded. "Vanessa, I've told you. I don't like talking about it. Charlene and I just had our differences, and that's all I'm saying."

"You didn't tell the whole truth," Vanessa said.

"I can't. This is a game, not a Dr. _Feel_ -Better episode."

"If you can't tell the truth, you have to take a dare."

"But, honey––"

"Dare."

Doofenshmirtz lowered his head, his eyebrows scrunching down his forehead. At any other time he would have pressed the issue further, but remembering how Vanessa had to live without both parents, he decided to obey simply to please her. Flatly, he said, "Dare."

"I dare you," Vanessa said, holding up one finger importantly. She knew without doubt that he would never, ever do what she would dare him to. He would inevitably whine before acquiescing to tell her the truth about him and her mother.

"I dare you..." She grinned, almost laughing at the ludicrousness of her wish: "I dare you to kiss Perry."

Doofenshmirtz leaned back with surprise. "K–– _kiss_ Perry the Platypus? Vuh––Vanessa! That's not a _dare_ ; that's a death wish!"

"You wouldn't tell me the truth, so..." Vanessa innocently pretended to examine her manicured fingernails. "By the way, horrible things happen if you refuse to tell the truth and take the dare. It's an unwritten law. One girl at school didn't take the dare, and the next time we saw her... well... we never did see her again."

"No." Doofenshmirtz paled visibly in the dim light, his skin taking on a pallid ashy hue. The purple bags around his eyes looked deeper and darker. "Vanessa, that's not something to joke about. I––I––I can't do something like that. I would never even _dream_ of doing something like that."

His reaction startled Vanessa. She had not expected him to act so dismayed. She fully expected him to reel and make a terrible show of gagging before agreeing to calmly explain about his problems with Charlene. Perhaps she had made a mistake in maintaining so firmly that dares must be taken.

"Dad," she said, more gently than she had all day, "it's okay. I was just joking. Nothing bad happens. This is just for fun."

Doofenshmirtz stared hollowly down at his watch, not perturbed even by the sharp reflection that shone from its plastic face. "Five minutes," he said dazedly. "Perry the Platypus comes in five minutes."

"Dad," Vanessa said, more urgently, somewhat frightened. "I was kidding. You don't have to do anything to him."

"I see what you are doing." Doofenshmirtz scowled at her, his mouth setting in a determined line. "You're trying to _bait_ me, aren't you? You're trying to get me to ignore the dare! You _want_ me to lose. Well, it is not happening to _day_. You aren't going to make me back down."

"Dad––"

"I mean it, Vanessa. You might always feel bad about having a _loser_ of a father, but I will prove that I can win something, even if..." He trailed off, unable to repeat the dreadful dare. He swallowed heavily. "You probably are re _cord_ ing this to send to your friends or something. This is a test, isn't it? A test for all the dads?"

Vanessa dropped her head against the pillow, regretting having ever come to spend the day with Doofenshmirtz. _I didn't think he'd get so_ into _such a stupid game. And why did I even tell him to kiss Perry? Because,_ she answered her own question glumly, _I didn't think he'd take it so seriously that he'd actually do it._

She discreetly cupped her hands over her ears, drowning out the sound of Doofenshmirtz's agitated babbling. Thunder roared outside, and Vanessa looked up, brightening.

 _Of course, it's storming. Not even Perry would come out here in the middle of this._ She watched the rain swirl outside, satisfied. Droplets trailed down the window, gathering on the ledge in chilly puddles. Another round of thunder rumbled, but even after it faded, an odd rattling filled the air.

"Do you hear that?" Vanessa said, interrupting Doofenshmirtz.

"Hear what?"

"That." Curiously they strained to listen. The rattling continued, but this time, both Doofenshmirtz and Vanessa recognized the sound.

"The doorknob..." Doofenshmirtz slapped his hand over his forehead. "I gave Perry the Platypus my spare key so he could come in without breaking windows or sawing holes in the walls. It's more civilized, you know."

Vanessa put her hand on her father's elbow. "Hey, Dad? Forget the game. Just go in there and let Perry break your Shrinkerizer or whatever it is."

"Shrink _inator._ –In _at_ or _!_ " He sulked. "And, no. I won't back down. I've backed out of a lot of things my baby girl has asked me to do for her, but that stops _now._ Hey, Perry the Platypus!" he said before Vanessa could protest. "We're back here."

The front door closed. The sound of slogging steadily grew closer. In the soft light, Vanessa saw Perry tentatively step in, bound in a tiny yellow rain slicker that must have once belonged to a doll. Vanessa raised her hand in greeting, but felt as though she could not speak with her father's intentions rowing through her mind. She bit her lip nervously, glancing at Doofenshmirtz. Surely he would not take the dare now.

Perry frowned and rested his paws on his hips, standing akimbo in a way that said, "Why are you back here when we should be out there fighting?"

Doofenshmirtz cut a sidelong glare at Vanessa, before inhaling sharply. Swiftly, before Perry could scramble away, Doofenshmirtz grabbed him and lifted him up. Perry squirmed desperately, certain he would be thrust into a trap of some sort. His tail swung as he wriggled, but the deed had not been carried out yet.

Hastily, so that it was finished in less than two seconds, Doofenshmirtz moved one hand behind Perry's head to push him closer. The hood of Perry's wet slicker squeaked against Doofenshmirtz's palm. Perry had no time to react or even to wince as Doofenshmirtz pressed his mouth against the tufts of fur lining Perry's cheek.

Somehow, in that instant, Doofenshmirtz noticed how Perry's whiskers prickled his skin, and how deliciously soft his fur was.

Immediately, Perry snapped out his arms, smacking his paws against Doofensmirtz's face to shove him away. Doofenshmirtz dropped him in surprise and stumbled back, touching his stinging chin.

"Perry the Platypus..."

Vanessa dropped her hand from her mouth to her lap. She gazed at her father, then at Perry, who stood sputtering and alternatively licking the back of his paw and scrubbing it over his cheek. Nothing could have said, "Ew," more plainly.

She cleared her throat, hoping that Perry would never find out that _she_ was the one who directed this whole business.

Perry watched her warily, almost as if he feared she would snatch him up and kiss him, too. He swabbed his paw with his tongue and furiously washed his face.

Doofenshmirtz, the whole time, stood with his hands raised helplessly, stammering out all varieties of apology.

"Really, Perry the Platypus, I'm so sorry, it won't happen again; although your face _is_ very kissable––I––I mean, not that I want to do _that_ again, ever, but it was soft and kind of nice in this totally weird way like, uh, when your cousin kisses you after a birthday party. But it wasn't my fault, I didn't plan on it; it wasn't like I woke _up_ today and thought, Hey, I'm going to kiss Perry the Platypus! It didn't happen like that, honest, but if you _wanted_ another one I might––"

Whatever Doofenshmirtz said next was lost to the world as Perry leaped, snarling, onto Doofenshmirtz's face, clawing and slashing and hissing. Even his bulky raincoat did little to hinder him. Doofenshmirtz fell loudly onto the floor, making it shake. A book tumbled from the shelf.

"Va _ness_ a!" Doofenshmirtz wrapped his hands around Perry's hips, struggling to pry him off. Perry dug his claws deeper, raking them furiously over Doofenshmirtz's face.

"Vaness _a_!"

Vanessa snickered once, twice, and her head fell back as laughter rose from her throat. "All right, Dad. All right! You won the game."

Doofenshmirtz howled and squeezed Perry's hips tighter, tugging at him. Perry refused to cease in giving Doofenshmirtz the punishment he felt he richly deserved. He snarled, and Doofenshmirtz obediently moved his hands.

Vanessa observed contently. She was almost glad the power had gone out.


End file.
